breeze blog

2003-11-23T23:54:00.000-05:00

LOL I completed two "quizlets" at match.com and here are the results!! (as if they'd be anything less than stellar.. yanno they want you to keep coming back for more ego stroking!!)

2003-10-14T18:48:00.000-04:00

What a day. My laptop decided that today was the day it would die. Along with that my cats have become host to a huge colony of fleas that is slowly taking over my brand new home!! Time to call the exterminator!!

I've been managing to stay OP (on plan) with my Weight Watchers. I'm doing okay but it's shame pounds don't just melt off through will power alone!!

I'm supposed to go to the coast on Friday but my neighbors aren't home this week so I've not been able to ask them if they'll watch over my threesome (and their party of 500 fleas!).

Sigh.. the trials and tribulations...... oh I cannot wait for a free weekend!!

2003-09-15T00:02:00.000-04:00

Another new start. Joined Weight Watchers Online. Just have to do it. Last week I went for an EMG of my left leg/foot and the diagnosis was diabetic neuropathy. Well I'm just not ready to give up my left leg so I'm gonna beat the hell out of this diabetes!!

Feeling a little stressed b/c of the hurricane heading this way. There's a huge approach/avoidance thing going on here.... on the one hand, wouldn't it be cool to see something so huge???? On the more rational side, .. Holy shit, I hope it goes away !!

I'm in the extraordinary company of two wonderful cats :) and expecting to get a new kitten tomorrow.

Took a 1.5 mile walk today. It was nice. Listened to my cell phone for news (I have something called 1KTV news and Real One). Of course, I was tuned into the hurricane stuff.

I really need to update this page. It's so..... purple LOL

Oh well, time to check on Isabel's progress...

Today I've stayed on plan.. hooray!!

2003-07-05T14:19:00.000-04:00

As always I'm in the midst of getting much work done on client sites and other stuff. Needed a little break and thought I should work on my blog.

I feel like I have so little to say and gee why share it with the world.. that is, if they happen by..

I have a new cat, Rashana and getting ready to get another cat!!
I'm not so sure what to name this cat... any suggestions? Mail me
You can see the cat HERE

End of break ;)

2003-06-23T11:57:00.000-04:00

It's been a very long time since I crossed this path...
I've lost my best friend.. well it was a casualty of having moved out after living with my boyfriend for 7 years. We've moved apart and now I miss my friend .. it's sad we can't go back to listening and sharing as friends do...

no time to elaborate.. but more later..

2002-10-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

I took a "What kind of Villian are You?" Test.. here are the results..

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<º>

2002-10-01T22:32:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had dinner at Houlihan's? Next time, think twice. I had dinner there last weekend. Today I was checking my VISA statement. Houlihan's had charged me TWICE! So I called them on the phone. The manager said I'd have to bring a copy of my VISA statement and to bring my credit card with me. So I drove there (a 26 mile round trip). They refunded the overcharge. You'd think they'd offer something in return for the trouble. But no, she said they were all out of gift certificates. I told her that I was not really interested in ever having dinner there again and if I had seen their Sanitation rating sooner I would never have had dinner there the other night. Their rating was a B and their score was an 80.5!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW !!!!!

Beware of Houlihan's in Cary!!

2002-09-10T02:11:00.000-04:00

been a while. finding the days to be a bit stressful lately. turns out my custody arrangement is about to change again. i'm so tired of the tug of war. it breaks my heart to see tori pulled in two different directions by two people who really love her but hate each other. how torn she must be. while i don't want to let go, i feel i have to. the struggle for possession will never end and who will suffer as a result? i may lose her completely for letting go of some of our time, but she is the winner.. she will be less torn. i wonder how she will feel? another mother letting go... I hope she doesn't see it that way. i hope she will appreciate that we will have prime time summers... i wish her father would go away. i wish that *he* would leave us alone... i wish. but it will never happen. my biggest hope is that when she is grown .. she will remember how it was. how i tried to fight this. not how i failed. i just can't do it anymore. the cost is too much.. financially and emotionally. how do you say goodbye for now? how do you say it without your heart breaking? how do you say it with confidence and love? how do you say it so that they one who is leaving doesn't feel your pain? so they can be happy. so they can be everything you want them to be without you? i cannot bare this. i cannot share this. i am alone in this. i never wanted a child more than this child. she is so loved. she is my heart and i have to let go.. so she will stop suffering the hate that is between her father and i. she doesn't deserve to be in the middle. it would be so simple if we could just be left alone.. but he won't let that happen.
how ... how can i maintain the strength to do this? how can i stop fighting for her? for what I think we should have? will she ever forgive me? will she understand what I am doing? is it a mistake? is it the right thing to do? so many questions. so little time to decide. which path? which way? the fog is so thick sometimes I just can't see...
but i can't bare to see it anymore... i can't stand the struggle and the sadness that goes with it. We have so little time together.. when my ex and i first separated, the greatest pain i'd ever felt was not seeing my little girl's face everyday.. it's still that way. i try not to think about it. if i do, i just fall to pieces. what will i do now? how will i cope with this new pain, even more intense and more deep? how will i stop looking at other mothers with envy and sadness in my heart? even now, i want to just walk in her room and kiss her forehead and i can't. i can't do the most simple loving gesture. she's not here. oh god, what am i going to do? what am i going to do? oh damn... this is gonna kill me..

2002-08-18T22:04:00.000-04:00

another weekend gone by. been playing on this site http://www.try2hack.nl Installed elder scrolls III Morrowind and it's pretty cool. Need to find more time for DAoC. Can it be Friday again, please??????

2002-07-18T08:58:00.000-04:00

Midsummer always feels like the end of summer instead... everything is winding down. The summer semester is almost over. Graduation is next week for my first graduating ITN class (they rock!!) and I'm already planning the spring schedule of classes .. imagine that!!

i need new brake pads on my car. I hate maintaining a car.. it just sucks. It's so annoying yet it has to be done b/c the car is so important. Blah... what a way to spend the day. I had some of the brake pads replaced before but now it's the other side. I was told to do the front together and to do that back together.. wiish I had heard that before.

If you need some tuneage ... go to http://www.dainbramage.com NOW!! ease your mind... hehehe

2002-06-17T00:10:00.000-04:00

hallelujah! my laundry is finally complete. the first time that I can ever recall having everything.. clothes, towels, blankets, sheets, etc ... all clean :) I feel like I should be receiving the Domestic Emmy or something. I hate housework. I think someone should manufacture disposable clothing. Most clothes are not made that well anyway.. and fashion is so fickle.

Wish I could find a decent book to read for the summer. Summer begs for good reading in the sunshine. I've had neither.

Father's Day. Happy Birthday Isa.. I miss you much.

2002-06-07T16:56:00.000-04:00

life generally sucks atm... wtf is up with some people? it's always a goddamn power struggle. I'm so sick of it all.. makes me almost want to pick up a cigarette and start smoking again ..LOL people are so fucking stuck in a rut never looking beyond their own motherfucking nose. I want to say fuck you, you fuck !!! lmao

fuck it. just fuck it.... can i have a vodka neat, please?

2002-05-04T11:27:00.000-04:00

Me again. I know I've blogged since January. Wonder what happened to those entries? Classes are out. Summer session begins. Nothing new. Just lots of work to do.
Been playing an online game that is pretty fun. Dark Age of Camelot. If you log on the tristan server to the realm of Hibernia, I'm Labraianna :)

2002-01-08T22:44:00.000-05:00

alright i have to admit that keeping a blog that might be read by people you know in real life is a little weird. i mean i feel like i should be careful about what i say but then the whole point of keeping a blog is lost. if i can't say what i mean and mean what i say i may as well be writing hallmark greeting cards. so i say fuck it. from now on, anyone from the college that might read this will have to deal with the fact that i have a life outside of the school and what i do on my time is my fuckin' bizness. so :-P
anyhow, what a day it's been. i had to get my brakes fixed so i go to atlantic tire in Cary. i had an appt. you'd think with an appt that you might actually some service at the time of the appt. WRONG. it was at least 30+ mins before they looked at my car. in the meantime, i'm doing work on my pocket pc (my new gadget) so i didn't feel like the time was a total loss but what bites is that i finished before they were done on my car. so now i was stuck... what else could i do but to play poker, blackjack, tetris, etc on my pocketpc
when i was done playing. was my car ready?? nooooooo... talk about a freakin' waste of time! but eventually they fixed it. i just hate wasting time.
time to get some work done now.

2001-12-09T15:43:00.000-05:00

time flies i guess. it's nearly the end of the semester at the college. time for the xmas holidays. i still have to do my xmas shopping :)
Happy Holidays!!

2001-11-08T08:20:00.000-05:00

It's been nearly 2 months since that awful September day. How life has changed. Tomorrow I take my first flight. Am I nervous? Hmmm... well, frankly I just don't like to fly anyway...
Say a little pray for me :)

2001-09-18T11:51:00.000-04:00

it's been a week since the tragedy. i still feel sad. i heard someone say that we need to stop feeling guilty. i guess i do feel some guilt. but more so just sad to think how evil can touch our lives. i saw a report this morning on tv where they were interviewing a victim. She was hospitalized. A burn victim. she thinks she was the last person out. She said "I saw a body. It didn't have any legs and it didn't have a face. It was horrible."
Yes that is more than horrible. That is what we must help us stay the course as we strike back... The Noble Eagle

The reporter continued saying that the heat from a blast like those in the tower could reach 1000 degrees. He said that you can get 3rd degree burns at 150 degrees. So imagine 1000 degrees?

People falling from the sky. Sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, friends, lovers, significant others, bosses, co-workers, all of them. gone.

will we ever regain something close to normal and humdrum? is it possible?

2001-09-16T22:27:00.000-04:00

well, it's been 5 days since the WTC/Pentagon. It's been an emotional roller coaster ride.
i'm watching a "town hall" meeting on NBC. a counselor said it's best to talk about the tragedgy. to document what happened, to say what one felt, and to share those impressions with others. so i'm here to do that.

on 09.0901, Sunday morning, I awoke from a very disturbing dream. i don't recall what the dream was about but when I awoke, i called my mother to see if she was okay. i had a sense of impending ...destruction..trouble.. something.. it was like some kind black cloud. I spoke to my boyfriend, telling him something was going to happen. I just had the feeling like something was going to happen and I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew he might think I was whacked but I told him just the same. Monday came and I still had this feeling. I told my mother that I wish I knew what it was. I'm afraid someone will get hurt. On Tuesday, as I readied for work, I was feeling sick. My stomach hurt. I had this premonition. I wondered if it was making my stomach hurt so bad? I felt I should turn on the TV to watch the news but no, I had to leave for work. I hoped I could maintain and not get sick again. On the drive to work on 09.11.01, I called my mom on my cell phone.. I said "Aiti, (that's Finnish for Mom) I can't shake this feeling that something, something bad is going to happen." She said I should just not worry. Take it easy. She said I was probably just working too hard. I told her I like to work. I said "I guess what will happen will happen regardless of what I feel so I'll just have to wait for it to happen."
About 3 miles down the road I hung up with my Mom. At that moment. I heard on the radio, Chopper Harrison on 98 say that the World Trade center had been hit by a plane. I thought ohmigod... but it didn't really sink it. I had no idea how devestating the destruction was. I thought a small plane. I kept my eye on the road. The more i thought about it.. I could feel that premonition come to full realization. I could feel a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I parked my car and walked to my office. I walked past the office assistants' office where they were gathered around a tv screen that was about 5 or 6 inches. The pictures were incredible. I was stunned. I walked away into my office. I was frightened. I was afraid. I had had a premonition of badness.. evil.. but I didn't know how bad it was. I listened to reports. I felt cut off from what was happening. I felt helpless. I was worried about my daughter. I wished I could see what was happening but I wanted to do it privately. I did not want to watch with everyone else. I heard the WTC2 had been struck. I called James to tell him. He said he'd check it out when he got up but he was sleeping. I paced in my office. I checked the time. Almost 9. Angela said "They're evacuating the White House and Pentagon." What? What? What? Was this Independence Day? What?!?!?! I looked at the phone. I called James again. I told him "James, they've evacauted the White House and the Pentagon." He said he was going to get up and check it out. I paced a bit. Thought about what I had to do to teach my class. I called James one more time and asked what had happened. He said everything was on fire. As I left for class I heard Angela say that WTC1 had collapsed. Un-fucking-believable. I was shocked. Now I really did feel as if I was in a dream. Surreal... I sort of floated as I walked b/c I wasn't there. my thoughts were with all those people. All those people who were in pain, dying, or running for their lives. I walked. I wondered should I teach class? should I expect my students to listen to me lecture about graphics .. when it seemed the "end of the world as we know it?" I made the decision as I got there. I told my students that they could listen or they could surf for info on WTCs. I didn't feel that I could demand their attention when a life changing event like this was occuring. Oh lord, i wanted to leave. I wanted to let everyone go. I wanted to go home. I was sick. I was not feeling well. I was worried. my premonition of evil. I stayed. I lectured. I listened. I decided to let my class go after we achieved the minimum for class. I went to my office. I cancelled my afternoon class. I packed up and drove home. I stopped at the grocery store to get food. I was ready to bunker down and watch and wait. When I got home, I sat down in amazement. It was a bad movie. I was stuck in a bad movie. and to top it off I was sick. I watched in horror as the events of the days unfold. I watched. I've felt like a zombie at times. at times I felt anger. other times. I wondered how we could fight an enemy that was so well hidden. I'll have think on this some more....

2001-09-13T23:46:00.000-04:00

My camera thinks I look better in blue...

:)

2001-09-13T23:45:00.000-04:00

Violence as a way of achieving racial justice is both impractical and immoral.

It is impractical because it is a descending spiral ending in destruction for all.
The old law of an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind.
It is immoral because it seeks to humiliate the opponent rather than win his understanding;
it seeks to annihilate rather than convert.
Violence is immoral because it thrives on hatred rather than love.
It destroys community and makes brotherhood impossible.
It leaves society in monologue rather than dialogue.
Violence ends by defeating itself. It creates bitterness in the survivors and brutality in the destroyers.

Dr. Martin Luther King, jr.

2001-09-04T00:28:00.000-04:00

Long time, no blog...
I'm a bit surprised it wasn't nuked!! WTG blogspot!!

labor day is over.. I labored all weekend. not much of a holidy, huh? c'est la vie.

time for more work...

2001-08-05T14:08:00.000-04:00

Gee it's been so long since I last posted I thought they might nuke my blog.
Been busy. CIS website updates all last week.
Summer break is almost over.. bummer!

2001-07-14T22:40:00.000-04:00

been a while since i said boo..
busy busy busy.
saw "O Brother Where Are Thou?
was very good. funny in a sort of weird way.

2001-06-25T07:52:00.000-04:00

okay this morning i'm in washington DC attending the Thunder Lizard Photoshop 6 conference. I hope it's a good one!!

2001-06-22T17:30:00.000-04:00

Looking for something witty to use for a signature file? I find these quotes to be very entertaining. Cool Quotes Collection

2001-06-22T15:02:00.000-04:00

gee, what happened to June?

2001-06-04T23:03:00.000-04:00

i'm watching the Gladiator for the second time. i was in the mood to watch someone achieve revenge on a sworn enemy. i could relate.
anyway, these quotes are from the movie.

"Wait for my signal. Then unleash Hell."
~Maximus (as the General)~
"I will have my vengeance in this life or the next."
~Maximus (as the Slave)~
"It vexes me. Are you vexed? I'm terribly vexed."
~Commodus as Caesar~
"What we do in life, echoes in eternity."
~Maximus (as the General)~
"We mortals are but shadows and dust. Shadows and dust."
~Proximo~
"The time for honoring yourself will soon be at an end."
~Maximus warns Commodus~

2001-05-26T10:20:00.000-04:00

okay... trying to "reboot" my blogspot!!

2001-05-24T21:09:00.000-04:00

i was right. blogspot is down... but it'll be back up again soon.
hmmmm.... guess it's the night for moving servers.

2001-05-24T15:45:00.000-04:00

What happened to my blog???
looks like blogspot is down and if that's the case, you won't be able to read my post.
grrrrrrr....

2001-05-20T14:34:00.000-04:00

time flies as another week goes by. nothing new and interesting on the net today.
i'm working on a new look for webbildr resources... attempting to integrate the old look with something new.
really just not enough time to work on it.

more later..

2001-05-14T21:03:00.000-04:00

gee, has it been *almost* a week since my last blog? unreal!

i've been playing MYST3 and blessed be, so far it's as every bit as good as the original MYST !!! i love it.

last true episode for voyager. I found a really cool trek site trek nation.

well, back to MYST3. The voltaic age....

2001-05-08T17:16:00.000-04:00

I'm just about sick of this blog. it works and then it doesn't work and then it works and then it doesn't.
right now it isn't.

2001-05-08T17:06:00.000-04:00

allergy season. *sniffle* *sniffle* achoo!

2001-05-07T11:07:00.000-04:00

it's summer "break" ...it's a big TWO day break!! lol.

Like Star Trek? you'll like this picture. It's a big one but worth the wait for any trekker.

enjoy the day. :o)

2001-05-05T12:13:00.000-04:00

soccer game today. we are 2-1 so far. the Munchkin has a great coach :)

tina won survivor. very cool.

2001-05-04T08:32:00.000-04:00

seems blogger is still not liking my blogs... it totally missed the previous post. I wonder if it will catch this one?

today's news? i go back to work... no more medical leave.... can't recall the last time i had 6 weeks off.....

2001-05-02T22:32:00.000-04:00

star trek voyager is nearing the end. bummer. fortunately there's a new Star Trek series in the works. Yet unnamed but anxiously anticipated.
I need to start working on my star trek collage again...

2001-05-01T14:35:00.000-04:00

Um, check out who the webmaster is on this site....
Cityhappenings.com
and then click on "contact us." :o)

2001-04-30T15:15:00.000-04:00

>>>Bree pops in CD.... the laser fires up, the music starts....>>>
The daylight's fading slowly/But time with you is standing still
I'm waiting for you only....

The Corrs... funstuff... :o) good tunes...

2001-04-29T22:48:00.000-04:00

gee, I've had so much to say today... but for any designers this is a cool site with lots of innovative ideas. "May 1st Reboot" click on "participants" and see some awesome design!

2001-04-29T22:19:00.000-04:00

added a mini art gallery. the Wacom tablet is way cool. a really good investment if you can draw ..or even if you can't b/c it has an overlay that allows you to trace!! that's how the mini gallery was created !

2001-04-29T19:38:00.000-04:00

whoa. reality hits. i created all of the blog graphics on the laptop. purple.. yah, i thought it was purple. took a peek at the blog on the workstation and ACK!! electric blue barf on the screen!! LOLOLOL Guess it's safe to say no graphics colorizing etc on the laptop!!

2001-04-29T13:30:00.000-04:00

okay so today i am brain dead. guess it's the < 4 hours of sleep I got?

2001-04-29T12:27:00.000-04:00

......more pics

2001-04-29T11:25:00.000-04:00

good morning. sunday tv sucks. soccer game today. love it.
added some graphics. did not check for optimization. don't feel like it.

2001-04-29T06:06:00.000-04:00

so, the graphics look like poop but it's like ...morning! time to get some sleep....
doubt it makes one bit o diff to anyone re: blog but where else can i say what i want when i want to nobody or everybody?

2001-04-29T05:54:00.000-04:00

even stranger is that i've still not gone to sleep....

2001-04-29T04:56:00.000-04:00

yah, i keep some strange hours, huh?

2001-04-29T04:54:00.000-04:00

Here's a post I made the day the server got a blog allergy...
there are times in life when you realize that it's just not realistic to believe that everyone is good. you cannot give them the benefit of a doubt... a little slack... because you've done it before. and when you're asked to do it again... well, this time your eyes are open. sadly, it's not the thief that suffers... it's a little bit of yourself. it's all the people in the future that will need that understanding and hope that will suffer. all because of that one... thief that steals good will. i am wiser, thief. i am wiser.....

2001-04-29T04:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm having to start this over b/c the blog's server doesn't want to talk to mine... but that's okay.. just less techno babble and files on my server.

2001-04-27T01:23:00.000-04:00

try this